It is much easier to introduce boundaries at the start of or earlier in a relationship rather than years down the road, especially when routine and habits have been established and both partners are more emotionally invested. Setting boundaries requires a clear head and not letting passion or other strong emotions confuse you.
TIPS FOR SETTING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES WITH YOUR PARTNER
Romantic relationships are often seen as one of the most significant parts of adult life, and they are a dominant part of much of the media we consume.
Everywhere we look, from Hollywood films, to song lyrics, and even TikTok videos, we are exposed to an idealized image of romantic relationships.
In these romanticized portrayals it can seem as though our relationships with our significant others are supposed to be blissful and effortless, but in reality romantic relationships, like all relationships, require hard work and effective compromise.
One of the most important elements of a healthy relationship is setting and maintaining the right boundaries.
A healthy personal boundary is a clearly communicated expectation that you hold your partner to. These boundaries are important for maintaining mental and emotional stability.
Clearly communicating your personal and emotional needs and being able to communicate them to your significant other effectively and without fear is a critical component of a healthy relationship and can save a lot of conflict down the line, as both partners will have a better understanding of the rules of the relationship.
Many people are reluctant to establish boundaries for fear of coming across as arrogant or demanding. However this concern comes from a misunderstanding of what a healthy boundary is. Setting boundaries is not about imposing selfish demands upon others, but rather having a good understanding of yourself and your limits, and being confident about holding to them.
In a relationship this is a two way thing, and it is equally important to understand your partner’s needs and respect their boundaries.
This all sounds straightforward enough, but real relationships are complex and messy, and it is not always easy to understand what boundary issues are and how to communicate them. With that in mind, we have compiled 5 handy tips to help you with this process.
TIPS ON SETTING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES WITH YOUR PARTNERS
1. Start your day with limit-setting intentions
It is important to remind yourself of your own boundaries on a regular basis, as we humans sometimes have a tendency to go overboard in trying to accommodate the demands of others, often to the neglect of our own emotional well-being. This often leads to taking on more than you can bear, which can cause a sense of inner conflict and strain that spills over into your relationship with your partner.
To counter this it is important to be intentional with your decisions. It is not a case of blindly saying no to your partner, but instead carefully considering your limits and being prepared to draw a firm line on what you can and can’t do.
2. Take time for reflection and self evaluation
In order to set the right boundaries you first need to know yourself. By spending time in self reflection you can gain valuable insight into yourself and your relationships.
When you take time to evaluate your situation you may find that some of the boundaries you have always insisted on are actually no longer important to you, and equally you may realize that some of your commitments are causing undue stress. By taking time to evaluate your life you can ensure you prioritize the things that really matter.
3. Communicate directly, clearly and often
It can be easy to forget that other people can’t read our minds- even our partners. We can’t expect people to respect boundaries they don’t know about, so it is crucial to take responsibility for clearly communicating our boundaries.
Furthermore it is important to do this on a regular basis; not only to remind our partners of our needs, but also to account for the fact that they change. Life is always changing, and we frequently shift into different life stages as children are born and grow up, our careers take shape and commitments to family and friends change, not to mention other unpredictable complications such as health or financial strains.
As a result it is vital to continually communicate with your partner so that they understand your needs in that moment.
The goal when communicating your boundaries is not to instigate an argument but to have a mature conversation and make them aware of their problematic behaviours and the negative effects they are having, and to collaboratively seek the best solutions.
4. Accountability
Strong relationships are built on trust and mutual respect, and in order to foster this it is vital to be open and admit your mistakes and make full and sincere apologies.
Unresolved conflict and injuries done without apology can sow the seeds of bitterness and resentment, so it is crucial that you hold yourself accountable for your own mistakes. Everyone screws up from time to time, but by establishing a habit of asking for forgiveness whenever you hurt your significant other you will set the foundation of a fruitful relationship.